After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
