My brain says no but my pants say off.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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