i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
