I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
