It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
