I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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