i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
