So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
