I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
