sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
