Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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