I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize