Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
