you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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