they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
