I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
