My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize