That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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