no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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