I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
