strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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