i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
