you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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