no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
