How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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