Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize