I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
a search helicopter?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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