she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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