He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize