i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
