i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize