god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
