you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
