You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
