i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
