I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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