I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
