wanna go halves on a baby?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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