Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want to make out with him forever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
