Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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