I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
