I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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