I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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