i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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