the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
