haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize