can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
