"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
