Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
