There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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