How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
