I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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