You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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