you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
