My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
