It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize