Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
