we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
