Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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